Past Rants, Raves & Views

The Lure of Lucas

Star Wars: The Old Republic

I have never played an MMO. There. I've said it. I make no apologies. I find World of Warcraft less appealing than turtle porn, to be honest, and EVE Online (whilst admirable in its ambitions) seemed to demand that I get involved in some sort of guild or power bloc. As a Chelsea fan whose allegiance predates the Russian era, I have enough hang-ups about how I offer my loyalty.

However, Bioware recently released a bit more info about their upcoming MMO Star Wars: The Old Republic, and I watched some video of developers and designers talking earnestly about the difference between Sith Warriors (basically Darth Vader) and Sith Inquisitors (the Emperor). And my family jewels started to tingle.

Perhaps it's my lack of imagination. I struggle with creating "me" characters. I went with a Dark Elf for my first run-through of Oblivion, and all I could think was... why do I have purple skin? As for Dragon Age, I've tried Elven Rogue and Human Mage and both felt odd. I just struggle to picture myself in leather bondage armour or a bloody skirt.

Sith Inquisitor, though, feels different.

Yes, I'm a sneaky bastard. And yes, I'm not above a little chicanery and deception to get my way. Alright, so I don't own much in the way of flowing

robes, but I do this thing for my girlfriend with a bedsheet and a... never mind. Thing is, I'd rather be the Emperor than Darth Vader, or Han Solo, or any of them for that matter. I'd probably look after my skin a bit better, though. Galactic Emperors can surely afford a tube of Clinique every now and then. The point I'm making is that it feels right, from my point of view. I like the idea of a little less combat and a little more evil persuasion. I like the idea of telling the goon with the lightsabre where to go and who to slaughter. Hey, I usually root for the bad guy. Screw Superman - who, by the way, I can't stand - let me be Lex Luthor any day. I want to be Gene Hackman in the Quick and the Dead. I want to be Agent Smith. I want to be Ra's al-Ghul, the Joker and Tyler Durden.

I want to be evil.

So see you at the Jedi Academy? I'll be the Sith Lord slaughtering apprentices with a wicked gleam in my eye, a song in my heart... and surprisingly good skin.